A few weeks down in the New Year. How’s that resolution going? How are you hoping to improve yourself this year? Eat healthier? Exercise more? Be less of a grouch? Express more gratitude?
Yep. Exactly what I thought. If you're like me....you've set your ambitions to high. Well. I have the answer. Wanna know what it is? I'm good at it. You're good at it. So ....Let's all do something we know we can do and do well. Too well .....
Ladies....are you ready?
Grab your pocket book and come on down to Heritage Antiques! Tear up those ridiculous resolutions and replace them using the following. You'll thank me later.
- Call girlfriend for a day out!
- Head on over to Heritage Antiques.
- Max out credit card.
- Wipe the sweat and drool off face.
- Go outside & buy a pulled pork sandwich & soda.
- Eat, laugh and refuel for final round.
- Find secret credit card stashed away in wallet only used for emergencies.
- Declare an Emergency!
- Go across the street to Standpipe & buy a triple decker caffiene Latte'--
- Browse! Shop! Buy! Load up car. Get home before husband arrives.
- Unload car. Display items inconspiciously throughout the house.
- Cook husband supper.
- If husband gets suspicious & notices new items in house--just act cool and play it off like the champion that you are. Laugh insane, silly-like, flutter those lashes, fidget, roll your eyes and act like that junk has been in the house for ages. Use the old rule* (See next line)
- DIVERT--DISTRACT--DIFFUSE! Ask him if he's tired or not feeling well, overworked. Butter him up. Distract him with football scores. Divert his attention with meat, potatoes and gravy. And finally, hand him the remote.
Then walk into kitchen and pat yourself on the back.
Well done, girlfriend. Well done!